How do we communicate with young people?

When I was looking at this topic on internet it counted 358 million hits at the top and it
staggered me that so many people are looking for ways to communicate with young people.
It reminded me about the time I was preparing a presentation on how the SEJ has helped
and supported me to be a compassionate and effective personal tutor. I realised something
fundamental that was the cause of many of my frustrations about communication ‘issues’
with students. I would often say that ‘they are not listening to me’ or ‘they are distracted’
and get frustrated or irritated that they are not listening to my ‘advice’!
Here are some of the behaviours I experienced before I practiced the SEJ:
 Wanting to fix the problem
 Get emotionally involved
 React to the situation
 Talk about own experiences and compare
 Offer own take on the situation
 TALK A LOT
 Limit the time of meeting
 Results orientated (tick boxes)
In essence I was involved with my own thoughts and actions and NOT listening or focussed
on the students themselves. This is not by any means empowering and it is actually very
limiting both to me and also to the student.
Now, here are the behaviours or actions I demonstrate since I have been practicing the SEJ:
 Let student find their own solution
 Compassionate but detached emotionally
 More empowered and clear how to respond
 See from their perspective
 Mainly LISTEN
 Time not an issue
 Student orientated (may not have any conclusive outcome)
Here I am listening to them and am fully present with the student, focussed on supporting
their wellbeing and their own solutions. The student feels empowered and enabled by the
support offered and fully aware that it is their own responsibility to take ownership to
manage themselves and their life.
I cannot begin to tell you how this simple but powerful shift of awareness, because of
practicing the SEJ, has changed how I communicate with not just students but with
everyone and everything. It is shifting the focus from me to the other. It is being of service
to the other fully present and dedicated to their wellbeing above and beyond my needs or
wants. If you are interested in how you too can communicate deeply, why not look at the
SEJ
in Education website https://thesej.co.uk/education-services/
Dr M Howard-Kishi

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