How do I cope with the pain that grief brings?

This blog is going to make up a continuing series, as I really feel to share with you my
journey through grief, and how the SEJ process has helped me. I’m hoping this may help you
too. You can find my previous blog at https://thesej.co.uk/how-do-I-deal-with-grief/


This week has been a strange week as we’ve been busy organising everything for the funeral
and wake, and it has knocked me back a bit. I have found myself really struggling to stay
focused with work and all the tasks that I need to do. I even got to Thursday and thought “I
need a drink!”. I knew full well that this wouldn’t help in the long term, but I drank quite a
bit of wine with some friends. The next day, as you do, I felt terrible. Mentally and
physically.


In the past, this would have been the start of the downward spiral of drinking and feeling
sorry for myself and trying to process the grief.
This didn’t happen this time. I still maintained the ability to be the observer of my thoughts,
something that happens when you’ve practiced the SEJ process.
With the SEJ process you get to question your thoughts, but after a while you can really
begin to notice and observe your thoughts. You notice that they are there, but they aren’t
you.


This has helped me immeasurably. Yes, I grieved, yes, I had another major “wobble”, but I
didn’t stay in the grief.
I really encourage you to read my last blog at the link above, as this ladder out of grief that I
spoke about last time was there again.
I look back on the past week as me going into grief and having a few struggles, but now I’m
out of the hole and back in the game.
Yes, I still miss my dad, yes, I still think about my dad, but I’m not consumed by grief.
I want to share this with you as I’m not saying we shouldn’t grieve, and I’m not saving grief
isn’t painful. What I’m saying is that we can process it, and we can return to a place of joy
without grief consuming us.


I hope this helps at least one person reading this.


Live in joy
Elliot

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