The other day, I asked myself a question whether a student can make a teacher happy and whether children make teachers and care-givers happy. This came from hearing more than once the answers to my opening question to tutees ‘why did you want to study at university?’ and receiving ‘…to make my parents happy…’, ‘I want my teachers to be proud of me’…
I have also lost the number of times I heard parents saying ’All I want is for you to be happy’ yet in the same breath we say, ‘If you do well at school it will make me happy’ ‘In order to be happy you need to do this and that’. Indeed, as I recall, my parents have said that ‘I am not going to be happy unless you get 100% in tests’ and feeling rather fearful and scared what the consequences would be if I didn’t get 100%. As an adult I long held a belief that failure is a bad thing and the thought of getting it wrong would put the fear of God into me. Thank goodness I have learnt the SEJ and these limiting beliefs have long since gone from my experience!
I have come across a book called HAPPY PARENTS, HAPPY KIDS, in it the author expresses this simple message: parents’ most important job is to demonstrate to their children how to live a fulfilling and happy life. I would even extend this to educators as I have experienced that when my classroom is joyful and happy because I am joyful and happy, students relax and they are far more open to being engaged with the session and they seem to learn a lot easier, the bonus being it leaves everyone in a compassionate and inclusive learning environment.
I have a radical suggestion; why not be joyful and happy ourselves before we put pressure on children and students to make us happy. It is so much easier than expecting someone else to be responsible for our happiness and let’s face it, it’s far more reliable and empowering to do it ourselves! If you want to know how, simply contact us on the link: SEJ Education Services
Dr M Howard-Kishi